I am very, very, very fortunate that I was not drinking coffee when I read this.
Coffee in the nasal passages is not nearly as pleasant as it sounds, especially when you are rolling on the floor laughing...
WASHINGTON, DC – After months of high-profile deliberation, a US Navy spokesperson has confirmed that the military organization is prepared to issue a public apology to Lieutenant Junior Grade Jeffrey Hurst for wasting the first two years of his professional life.
“We obviously made a big mistake not recognizing Lieutenant Hurst’s potential sooner,” the spokesperson said in a phone interview. “He deserved much better than the assignment he got, and we all feel just awful.”
... Hurst, whose education was paid for in full by the Navy, says that despite injuries he will not hold a grudge. “I’d even consider returning to the fleet,” he said while being fed grapes, “so long as the Navy guarantees that I won’t get yelled at by another XO ever again.” Hurst’s previous Executive Officer, Lieutenant Commander Mark Parsons was relieved of duty and replaced with a teddy bear shortly after Hurst’s unhappy story broke.Teddy bear. Heh!