From Michael Z. Williamson:
When confronted with immediate, major violence, shooting the attacker is certainly AN answer, though beating him to death with a club might also be one, but it takes a lot more energy and lacks style.
Dear sweet merciful heavens, I am aware - reluctantly! - of two grays: "Haze", and "That Kind Of Faded Driftwood Gray, You Know What I Mean, Right?"
The first is only appropriate when applied to the hulls of warships, and the second is preferred for any application in the home that calls for something akin to the color "gray". I, along with pretty much every other male in the world, have absolutely NO desire to determine the providence of any other shade, warmth, saturation, or other adjective of gray.
Which is to say, you should listen to those non-male friends of your, and ignore us color-illiterates who look at periwinkle and say "That's, like, blue. Ish. Sorta."
At his day job, attorney Michael Robb seeks reparations for those wounded by asbestos exposure. At all other times, the president and CEO of Pittsburgh, Penn.-based Cold Can Innovations rectifies the injustice of drinking warm beer. His Beer Blizzard invention cools warm beer via a dome-shaped plastic disk that fits perfectly underneath a can.
Robb and his partner Tom “Ozzy” Osborne — the company’s “chief redneck in charge” — dived into the Shark Tank Friday night (Season 7, Episode 25) seeking $100,00 for 20% of their company.
Dallas Mavericks owner and billionaire Mark Cuban offered them $100,000 for 25% for the business while QVC Queen Lori Greiner offered them exactly what they were asking for. Robb and Osborne took Cuban’s offer because of Robb’s “serious man crush on Cuban” because they’re both from Pittsburgh, Penn.
Not to bore you with the complete history, but a long long time ago, a guy named Noah built an ark.
Fast forward to 1936, when Noah’s Ark was erected in Kennywood. The ride was completed a bit late because on St. Patrick’s Day in 1936, Pittsburgh flooded up to its brim.
A flood … delayed … the completion … of Noah’s Ark.
Fast forward to the late 1960s, when Kennywood renovated the attraction to keep things fresh — which called for “a structure resembling the head … of a huge whale.” A blue whale became the entrance to the ark, swallowing yinzer Jonahs whole. And the whale’s tongue became your favorite thing about it...
So Kennywood said, “People sure love that whale and its squishy tongue. TOO BAD!” They took out the whale and cut out his squishy tongue and replaced it with an elevator.
Tom “Ozzy” Ozbourne (left) and Mike Robb got into character in this scene from their “Shark Tank” pitch for their “Beer Blizzard” product.” They got the inspiration for it at an annual gathering at Osborne’s property in Hamsher County, W.Va., called “the Redneck Reunion.”
There were more than a few “A-ha!” moments that Robb and Osborne had on the way to creating their “Beer Blizzard.” They were moments that involved guns, frozen boots, drywall compound and one wildly successful Kickstarter campaign.
They trace the product’s origin to an annual hunting, fishing and beer-drinking gathering at Osborne’s cabin near Moorefield, alongside the south branch of the Potomac River.
The event has a rather more colorful name than that, said Osborne.
“All my childhood friends and I still go to the Shenandoah Valley every Memorial Day for what we call ‘the Redneck Reunion.’ It was there at the Redneck Reunion where we came up with the idea and concept for our product,” said Osborne, who — while a full partner with Robb — self-styles himself as the company’s “CRIC.”
Because the acronym is not normally found in institutional flow charts, a translation is in order: “Chief Redneck in Charge.”
BAIER: Mr. Trump, just yesterday, almost 100 foreign policy experts signed on to an open letter refusing to support you, saying your embracing expansive use of torture is inexcusable. General Michael Hayden, former CIA director, NSA director, and other experts have said that when you asked the U.S. military to carry out some of your campaign promises, specifically targeting terrorists’ families, and also the use of interrogation methods more extreme than waterboarding, the military will refuse because they’ve been trained to turn down and refuse illegal orders.
So what would you do, as commander-in-chief, if the U.S. military refused to carry out those orders?
TRUMP: They won’t refuse. They’re not going to refuse me. Believe me.
BAIER: But they’re illegal.
If this... person... somehow manages to end up in the White House; and if he does, indeed, give our military orders to kill non-combatant women and children; then I pray to God Almighty that the mean and women of the US armed forces, from the highest of the high to the lowest of the low, will have both the extensive vocabulary and will to employ it that they will be able to tell him just how thoroughly and completely they will be ignoring those orders.
If they do not? I will take it as an indication that it is time to do some gardening.