Chicago Aldermen Take Up Pan Handling

Two Chicago mindless jerks alderman want a complete or partial ban on Red Bull and other energy drinks:
Chicago would ban the sale and distribution of high-caffeine energy drinks — not just to minors, but to consumers of all ages — under a surprise crackdown proposed Thursday by the City Council’s most powerful alderman...
Ald. Edward M. Burke (14th), chairman of the City Council’s Finance Committee, proposed the blanket ban, citing the popularity of drinks such as Red Bull, Monster, Full Throttle and 5 Hour Energy among teenagers and young adults and the dangers those drinks can pose to their health...
The ordinance defines energy drinks as “a canned or bottled beverage which contains an amount of caffeine exceeding or equal to 180 milligrams-per-container and containing Taurine or Guarana.”
Complete idiocy.  A 16 oz. Monster has the same caffeine content as a strong 8 oz. cup of coffee.

Just in case you thought this was about, you know, the children, another alderman (who only supports a partial ban on energy drinks, mind you) lets the mask slip and lays that quaint notion to rest:

Cardenas said he wasn’t really interested in banning the sale of energy drinks to minors. He simply wanted to get the industry’s attention and educate parents and young people about the dangers of energy drinks.
Which, when you think about it, is kind of like how that pan handler at the stoplight isn't really interested in cleaning your car windows.  He just wants to get your attention, you see.

The idea being that once he has your attention, you will give him some money to go away.

Aldermen Burke & Cardenas are just pan handling at a slightly higher level.

As Radley Balko said on Facebook: "From my cold, jittery hand."

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