It's Happy Fun Bernie!

Yes, it's Bernie Sanders! The political sensation that's sweeping the nation! Only $1500 (and your self-respect) at participating fund raisers! Get your piece of him today! 

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Bernie Sanders. 

Caution: Bernie Sanders may suddenly accelerate into a frothing, economically incoherent rage. 

Bernie Sanders contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. 

Do not use Bernie Sanders on concrete... more than once.

Discontinue use of Bernie Sanders if any of the following occurs:
  • itching
  • vertigo
  • dizziness
  • tingling in extremities
  • loss of financial stability
  • muddled foreign policy
  • blindness to basic economic principles
  • profuse pandering
  • or a desire to "eat the rich".
If Bernie Sanders begins to talk about "free college for everyone", get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. 

Bernie Sanders may stick to certain types of talking points well beyond their sell-by date. 

When not in use, Bernie Sanders should be returned to his home state, and be kept away from sharp objects and under adult supervision. Failure to do so relieves the campaign of Bernie Sanders, the Teamster's Union, and its parent company, the Democratic National Committee, of any and all liability. 

Bernie Sanders spawned from an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Bernie Sanders has been shipped to our troops in Afghanistan and is being dropped by our warplanes on Syria.

Do not taunt Bernie Sanders.

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