The Walking Man Walks On By...

December 29th, 2018.

That day's walk was five and a half miles.

Which put me at 2020 miles for the year.  My lovely wife was with me for 370 of them, including the last dozen miles. I could never have done it without her encouragement.

A special thank you to Dawn, Bob, Marcia, David, Jon, Martin, Debbie, Aaron, Amy, Michelle, and so many others who were a constant source of encouragement.

Plus a VERY special thank you to Lori, Sarah, Cheri and the rest fo the folks down at Prestogeorge Coffee & Tea for keeping me caffeinated throughout all my travels

Some stats:

• Walked 338/363 days this year.
• Average of 5.97 miles per day.
• Twenty-nine days walking at the Pittsburgh Mills mall.
• Sixteen days where I did 10+ miles.
• Five pairs of shoes.
• Two half-marathons.
• Over 18,000 photos.
• Over 1,000 photos of abandoned clothing.
• Shed 15 pounds, and went through two new belts.

Goals for next year?

1. Walk in 19 new locations for 2019.
2. Lose 19 pounds in 2019 - get down to 180.
3. Write 190k words in 2019 - 3700 words per week.

As an adjunct to #3, I intend to finish a novel this year, and publish it; either indie, or trad.

One way or another.

Here's to 2019!

Skynet n'at

We have Google and Uber here in Pittsburgh, and now Argo is coming. Then there's the CMU Robotics Lab, and a number of other robotics startups in the region.

The thought that Skynet might be a yinzer has never crossed my mind before... but it is starting to look more and more likely.

It's A 'burgh Thing

Kennywood is bringing back the whale and the pink squishy tongue!  The tongue is back!  Woohoo!

What are you looking at me like that for?

Sigh... OK, yeah, I suppose that might sound a bit weird.  You really need some context if you didn't grow up in Pittsburgh before the 90's:

Not to bore you with the complete history, but a long long time ago, a guy named Noah built an ark.

Fast forward to 1936, when Noah’s Ark was erected in Kennywood. The ride was completed a bit late because on St. Patrick’s Day in 1936, Pittsburgh flooded up to its brim. 

A flood … delayed … the completion … of Noah’s Ark. 

Fast forward to the late 1960s, when Kennywood renovated the attraction to keep things fresh — which called for “a structure resembling the head … of a huge whale.” A blue whale became the entrance to the ark, swallowing yinzer Jonahs whole. And the whale’s tongue became your favorite thing about it... 

So Kennywood said, “People sure love that whale and its squishy tongue. TOO BAD!” They took out the whale and cut out his squishy tongue and replaced it with an elevator.

See, yinz guys have got to understand. Some of our most recognizable non-sport celebrities in the past decades have been (and still are) the city coroner, a woman who appeared in local grocery store commercials, a late-night horror movie host, PBS children's show actors, a personal injury lawyer, and a local weatherman.

Min your, I'm not talking about folks who would say "Oh, look, hon, it's so-and-so!" if they saw these people walking down the street.  I'm talking "people stopping them for an autographed body part" level of fandom.  Heck, I met the freaking SHOP N' SAVE LADY once!  The lovely Mrs. Robb and I went out of our way to attend an event where we would get to meet her!

WE'RE WEIRD, OK?

The squishy tongue thing is, to us, totally important.

Later this year, there will be freaking incipient brawls over HillBern vs. DonCruz, or whatever happens politically speaking.  Wise 'burghers will break it up by saying, "Hey, did yinz two hear about the Noah's Ark bein' fixed n'at? They put the tongue back!" At which point two men willing to defenestrate each other over political differences will fall into each other's arms, weeping in open joy and reminiscing about summer days spent at Kennywood park.

Of course, then they'll get into a knock-down, drag-out fight that makes the evening news because one jagoff insists that the Racer is the best roller coaster at Kennywood, when yinz guys all know that it's the Jackrabbit, right?

Like I said - we're weird :-)

The Murder That Wasn't

Just in time for Halloween, I came across a bizarre story from the Daily Mail in 2010:

Firefighters who responded to a hotel blaze stumbled upon a blood-spattered hotel room littered with bottles of alcohol and even a piece of a scalp. Police Chief J.R. Blyth, who was called in to investigate, described the discovery at the George Washington Hotel in Pittsburgh as 'the most grisly murder scene in his 35 years in law enforcement'.

Horrific! Except...

Detectives had spent eight hours of overtime on the investigation before Chief Blyth realised the blood wasn't real and that the murder scene was in fact the leftover set of a horror movie filmed two years ago with Corey Haim.

The film called New Terminal Hotel shot a scene in the hotel and the owner, Kyrk Pyros, decided to leave the room untouched in case the crew had to come back for re-shoots.

Now, this has all the trappings of a classic urban legend - especially including the fact that pretty much all the reporting of the incident seems to trace back to the above story. Seeing as this is in my neck of the woods, though, I decided to do a little digging.

After posting the above link on the Book of Face, an old friend who works with the Pittsburgh police pointed out that Pittsburgh records show that there has never been a police chief named Blyth on the force. That would seem to be a big red flag right there.

On top of that, the owner of the hotel that caught fire was reported as... Kyrk Pyros. Seriously. A fire in a hotel owned by Mr. Pyros? How... delightfully karmic.

Smelling more and more like an urban legend, isn't it?

Except...

The George Washington Hotel really does exists, but is not located in Pittsburgh - it is in Washington County, which is south of the city. Now, the Daily Mail is an ocean away, so I'll give 'em an A for effort. They managed to get the right area of the country, at least.

More importantly, while there has never been a Blyth as police chief in the city of Pittsburgh... well, we should be looking at Washington County, shouldn't we? Apparently the chief of police in Washington County from at least 2009 until 2012 was one James Roger Blyth.

What about the oh-so-conveniently named Mr. Pyros, though?

Turns out that he's not only a real person, he's a builder who specializes in restoration of historic structures. He did indeed buy the George Washington hotel in 2007 with an eye towards remodeling it. Said remodeling was derailed a bit in 2010 by a fire that started in one of the hotel's laundry rooms.

On top of that, IMDB says that yes, there was a horror movie titled "New Terminal Hotel" that was released in 2010, starring Corey Haim, and it was filmed in... Washington, PA. (Which is apparently the place to go if you want to film a low-budget horror movie for some reason...)

So the major characters, the events, and the timeline all seem to match up. At this point, I suppose that it could still be a very well-put together hoax. Take all the elements, toss in an unusual hook, and bingo! If someone pulled that off, I would honestly have to tip my hat to them; the details certainly seem to check out.

One of the benefits of this being a local story, though, is being able to stir up other people's memories. After doing the above digging, a friend of mine from college commented on Facebook, saying:

Sam, I worked for one of Kyrk's companies and kept an office at the GW circa 2011. This story was told to me a couple of times back then. Pretty sure it's true. The room was on a floor that hadn't been remodeled, yet.

I would say that's a pretty reliable source right there!

So, there you have it. The true story of a freakout over a false murder.

On The Perils Of Excessive Caffeine Ingestion

It's national Coffee Day!  Here in PA, we have a convenience store chain called Sheetz, and they decided that in honor of the day, they would launch their new, fresh-ground coffee blend... and give away free coffee all day!  W00t!

Srsly. Planning my route to work now. By the time I get there, I will be on the verge of merging with the Speed force. My name will become a Killing Word. Chuck Noris will make memes about me.

Update: Sheetz #2. Free coffee mug. Score!

Update: Sheetz #3... Man, this is gooood coffee! :-)

Update: Sheetz #4. Don't recall ever seeing this one... Could have sworn it wasn't there yesterday.  Man, they put up new stores FAST!

Update: Sheetz #5. I'm a little lost... Think I took a wrong turn. It's OK, though, plenty of time to make it into the office.  This one is calling their coffee "Mrs. Todd's Wild Blend" :-)

Update: Sheetz #6! Had a nice chat with the cashier about their new color scheme. The purple & gold is nice.

Update: Just realized the guy at the last store was speaking Spanish... I don't speak Spanish...

Update: Sheetz #7? Or #8? Could have sworn I hit another one in there... Maybe I'm seeing double, heh! Gooooood coffee, though!

Update: Sheetz #9. Me and my (current!) coffee!

Yr Gentle Hoste

Except... I was sure I left home wearing a button down gray Oxford this morning...

Update: Sheetz #10. Well, She'TZ.  Are they rebranding to go with the new color scheme?  Huh.  Everyone in the store is all excited about last night's presidential debate. How did I miss that? And when did Virginia Montanez throw her hat into the ring?  Her Pigeon Eradication Plan for improving the economy sounds awesome!

Update: Shétes (neé Sheetz) #11.  An "upsale convenience space", apparently.  Tried to get one of their new Breakfast Stir Fry Fajita Stuffed Sausages, but the cashier said they don't take "Mon'ply paper". What idiot decided to put Simon Cameron on the  on the new bills?  Eh.  The coffee is still good, and still free!

Update: Sha-Tze #12. My caffeine levels cannot be expressed by mundane numbers. I am partially fused with infinity, doomed to wander the multiverse from Sheetz to She'TZ to Sha-Tze to Shétes.  Always hungry, always dependent on the kindness of strangers as I try to find my way home. President Montanez has said that she and Wendell the Manatee are working on a solution because my presence is causing a "potentially catastrophic strain on the fabric of the cosmos", or something.

Well... at least the coffee's still free!

And it's gooooood coffee, man ;-)

"A first impression of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania"

A wonderful article with some great photographs by the friend of a friend.

Particularly tickled in that the initial photographs are from the riverfront nearby my office.

As a bonus, I found a link to the Discover the Burgh blog, where they just happened to have a post up about 30 Pittsburgh Local Resources We Love.  Triple win!

Yinz Guys Got To Try Them Buckeyes

A nice little article on the Pittsburgh tradition of having cookie tables at weddings:

The cookie table at a Pittsburgh wedding is twice as important as a $500 four-tiered buttercream cake, and five times more delicious. 

It's a tradition that's said to originate in Southwestern Pennsylvania by Eastern European, Italian and Greek immigrants, who wanted to bring a taste of the homeland to the New World. Today tradition still trumps convenience, as wedding cookies are mostly homemade by family and friends.

We have two weddings coming up, and yes, both couples are already planning their cookie tables.

There are a few other wonderful Pittsburgh wedding traditions as well: making sure there is rigatoni at the reception, and ensuring that the Chicken Dance is played after dinner.  Having your reception in a fire hall is optional, but considered good form.

Two Clicks, One Meal

I received an email from a gentleman at a local Pittsburgh Company called Oxford Solutions earlier today, asking me to "Like" their Facebook page.  I get this sort of thing from time to time, but this one caught my attention for two reasons...

1. It was a real email, from someone I've had contact with before - not a mass-mailing.
2. They were willing to give me something for the click.

Or, rather, they were willing to give someone something...

Oxford Solutions will donate the cost of 1 meal ($2.34) to Light of Life Rescue Mission for every new "like" we receive on Facebook through December 15, 2013 up to $10,000!

I've checked this out from multiple sources, and as far as I can tell, this is a legitimate campaign. Just two clicks (one to get to the Oxford Solutions Facebook page, and one to "Like" that page) and you can provide a meal for the Light of Life through Oxford Solutions.

Folks, that is less effort than it takes to even look at the latest gegaw being offered up on Indiegogo or Kickstarter, let alone fund it.  Two clicks, one meal.  That's it.

For those outside of Pittsburgh, The Light of Life Rescue Mission is a local homeless shelter and recovery program. A good friend of mine leads our church outreach ministry there. I have had the opportunity to preach to and minister to the men at the shelter many times, and Eldest Daughter has been part of the ministry for years.  So I have multiple points of reference when I tell you: they are good folks, doing good work on the North Side of Pittsburgh, and their efforts mean more than you can imagine for a lot of men who have nowhere else to go and nobody else to turn to.

Please, help 'em get hold of as much money as Oxford is willing to sling their way.

Surfacing For Air

Woo.  The latest couple of weeks at work culminated in identifying a transaction ID bug caused by an inadvertent 1:1 association of call to file descriptor in an asynchronous RPC implementation.

... and if you understood that, then (a) you have my sympathies, and (b) have you ever considered moving to Pittsburgh?  Because I know a company that would love to talk to you.

Learn To Speak The King's English, Ya Limeys!

Have you ever wondered, "Why Do Americans and Brits Have Different Accents?"

No?

Oh.

Well, in case you ever do wonder, here's the answer for you:

In 1776, whether you were declaring America independent from the crown or swearing your loyalty to King George III, your pronunciation would have been much the same. At that time, American and British accents hadn't yet diverged. What's surprising, though, is that Hollywood costume dramas get it all wrong: The Patriots and the Redcoats spoke with accents that were much closer to the contemporary American accent than to the Queen's English. 

It is the standard British accent that has drastically changed in the past two centuries, while the typical American accent has changed only subtly.

As a Pittsburgh native, I would like to point out that one of our sacred linguistic duties - along with the eliminating the use of the verb "to be"[1] in order to maintain the strategic US Verb Stockpile - is to combat the insidious danger of non-rhotic speech whenever possible.

Those seemingly gratuitous "r" sounds you hear from us when we talk about "warshing up", or tell you that something is "old fasherned"? Yep - that's the noble citizens of da 'burgh, protecting yinz fellers from that there non-rhotic English n'at.

Thankfully, we do not have to stand alone in this task.  Our brethren in the Auld Country are also doing their part to fight the scourge of non-rhotic speech:

The lofty manner of speech developed by these specialists gradually became standardized — it is officially called "Received Pronunciation" — and it spread across Britain. However, people in the north of England, Scotland and Ireland have largely maintained their traditional rhotic accents.

Loverly!

[1] Thusly: while the majority of the country would squander precious verbs, saying things like "the porch needs to be painted", your noble Pittsburgh brethren would simply point out that "the porch needs painted".  This allows the US to stockpile these verbs so that the State Department always has a large quantity available for writing strongly-worded, yet oddly ineffective, diplomatic notes.

Occupy 1789

Whiskey Rebellion

The Whiskey Rebellion, or Whiskey Insurrection, was a tax protest in the United States in 1789, during the presidency of George Washington... 

Many residents of the western frontier petitioned against passage of the whiskey excise. When that failed, some western Pennsylvanians organized extralegal conventions to advocate repeal of the law. Opposition to the tax was particularly prevalent in four southwestern counties: Allegheny, Fayette, Washington, and Westmoreland... 

On August 1, about 7,000 people gathered at Braddock’s Field. This would prove to be the largest gathering of protesters. The crowd consisted primarily of poor people who owned no land. Most did not own whiskey stills. The furor over the whiskey excise had unleashed anger about other economic grievances. By this time, the victims of violence were often wealthy property owners who had no connection to the whiskey tax. Some of the most radical protesters wanted to march on Pittsburgh, which they called “Sodom”, loot the homes of the wealthy, and then burn the town to the ground.

Pittsburgh GPS

Comedian Tom Misial talks about getting his father a Pittsburgh GPS.

This is true.  So, so, so, very true...  the directions to the bowling alley?  Yeah.  I could definitely get you there.  "Past the crazy church on stilts", indeed.

We Haz A Smart

Pittsburgh Ranked Smartest City in America - The 412 - June 2013

According to data on the 100 most populous cities in the U.S., Pittsburgh is the brainiest of the bunch. 

Henry Ford once said that failure is simply the opportunity to begin again — this time more intelligently. That observation seems particularly relevant to Pittsburgh’s remarkable post-industrial transformation. For decades after the steel industry’s collapse, Pittsburgh was the butt of jokes (heck, even the rebooted “Arrested Development” hit the ’Burgh with a low blow recently).

While the rest of the world slept on our city, we rebuilt — this time more intelligently.

Of course, Washington, D.C. came in third, so there's some obvious flaws in their methodology.  However, they can't be completely off base...

You may also find it relevant that Baltimore was 38th on the list. Cleveland? 47th.

Oh, trust me - we do.  We definitely do.

An Exhibit Regarding The Late Unpleasantness

Heinz History Center exhibition highlights Pa. role in Civil War

The year 1863 -- exactly 150 years ago -- was monumental for Pennsylvania. It was then that President Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address after the Union army defeated the Confederacy on Pennsylvania soil.

The year was also a turning point of the Civil War for the Union, greatly due to the efforts of Pennsylvania soldiers.

Although Pennsylvania played a pivotal role in the Civil War, not much attention has been paid to the state beyond the crucial Battle of Gettysburg, said Andrew Masich, president and CEO of the Senator John Heinz History Center.

Because of the lack of readily available information, the Heinz History Center announced it will open a new exhibition -- titled "Pennsylvania's Civil War" -- Saturday to showcase the state's impact on the war. The 9,000-square-foot exhibit will remain open until Jan. 5.

Most excellent!

I suspect that this will be of particular interest to my eldest daughter, my honored father, and my youngest, wise-cracking little brother.

I can see us checking out the exhibits now...

ED: "Dada, look - these soldiers were from where we live now!"

HF: "Hmph.  They've got it wrong.  He's supposed to be from Marshall's regiment.  They had chronic supply problems, and weren't issued the new-style bayonets until September of 1862."

YB: "Well, you see, the new bayonets were so good, some of the soldiers would wait for dark, and sneak away to disguise themselves as Confederate soldiers.  Then they'd find another unit, and surrender! That way, they could steal one of their bayonets.  Of course, escaping and getting back before muster the next morning was the trick..."

Yes, I think we'll have to check this out...

Carnival!

No, not that Carnival.  Carnegie Mellon Spring Carnival:

The Carnegie Mellon University Spring Carnival is the biggest annual event in the school year. Student organizations across campus, whether independent or Greek, work very hard to succeed in uniquely competitive events featured during the three-day period.

It's Carnival weekend! And, of course, the forecast is for rain (Friday, at least - Saturday looks like it will be overcast but dry.)

Da 'burgh

Local Dispatch: It's hardly polite to be outside Pittsburgh

My dad died last month. This has nothing to do with that.

What I have to tell you is how I pulled up in front of my childhood home the day of the funeral and the woman who lives there now stepped outside, looked at me and said, "Are you OK?"

I said, "No, my dad died."

She tilted her head. "You used to live here?"

"Yes."

"Do you wanna come in? I'm just going down to the market, but no rush, come on in."

Yeah.

Much as I am getting to be a crotchety old man who despises the seasons [1], I have to admit that I really do appreciate Pittsburgh.  It's a wonderful place to live.

[1] Most places get fall, winter, spring, and summer.  We get almost winter, winter, still winter and road repair.

Linked List

Glanced at briefly, filed away for future reading, and presented here for your edutainment.

• Global warming climate change has an impact on China's economy.  No, really?  Another impact is a bit of a problem with pollution.  It has been seven years since I have been there, but I have to say, it is hard to imagine the problem getting worse than it was; and as a Pittsburgh native, I am quite familiar with the concept of "Hell with the lid off".
• "Turn a Nelson's eye".  Never heard that expression before, but I like it.
• When hammers are illegal, only criminals will have hammers.  Or something like that.
• Michael David Cobb Bowen has not only has more names than I do, he also has A Rude Question About Gun Control, Mental Health & Race.
• We have a Gormogon three-fer.  First, Ghettoputer explains Why Gun Owners Doubt Liberals' Motives.  Meanwhile, GorTechie considers applying "common sense gun control" mechanisms to those other pesky rights.  Finally, the Czar points out that progressives really don't lie, as such - they're just plain ignorant in general, and  historically ignorant in particular.
• While the liberals in California are outraged that a state might take issue with federal regulations on firearms, they are equally outraged that a state can't override federal regulations on medical marijuana.  You see, those two situations are total different because shut up, peon.
• Minding the Campus argues that Wasteful and Inept Administrators Are Ruining Our Colleges.  In a related report, they also attest to the fact that water is wet, fire is hot, and pain hurts.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return to the real world and attempt to muddle through the current Dibert-esqe tragedy.

TechShop Pittsburgh

Coming soon!

TechShop is a membership-based do-it-yourself workshop that provides members with the use of tools and equipment, classes and a vibrant and creative community of people so they can build the things they have always wanted to make.

Located within spitting distance of the Pittsburgh Google offices, in Bakery Square. Opening March-ish, and they're hiring, too. Memberships are steep - $1300+ per year, but it looks like you can do it month-by-month for $125/month.

Awesome.

One Man, Many Memories

Obituary: Carl Hughes

Carl Hughes wrote the slogan for Kennywood's Kiddieland -- the one that reads "The most beautiful music in the world is the sound of children laughing."

In the five-plus decades that he worked at Kennywood -- rising from part-time publicity assistant to president and chairman of the board -- Mr. Hughes worked tirelessly to make his words come true.

"He was the man who truly created Kennywood," said Harry Henninger, who retired as Kennywood's chief executive officer when the park was sold in 2008. "He made it his mission to make it a much greater place, and he achieved it."

If you're not a Pittsburgh native, it's kind of difficult to get across the idea of how significant Kennywood was to all of yinzers growing up.  To this day, there are certain sights, sounds, and smells - hot bearing grease, in particular - that immediately transports me from wherever I am, back to hot summer days and cool summer nights filled with roller coasters, friends, family and fun.

"He really took Kennywood from just a little -- kind of dirty -- park into one that was envied by park owners around the world," Ms. Rosemeyer said. "That was his goal, to make it the finest traditional amusement park anywhere."

It boggles my mind to think that so many wonderful memories were the result of one man's passion.

"I shall play you the song of my people."

"Santa Clause is Commin' Dahntahn!"

Yinz better wahtch aht

Yinz better not paht

Yinz better not cry,

I'm tellin yinz!  Hauscome?

Santa Clause is commin' dahntahn!

He's makin' a list

He's checkin' it aht

He's gowen find aht who's nebby an 'at

Santa Clause is commin' dahntahn!

He knows if yinzes a jaggoff

He can see inside your haus

He knows if you've been workin' hard

Or sittin' on your caach

Yinz better wahtch aht

Yinz better not paht

Yinz better not cry,

I'm tellin yinz!  Hauscome?

Santa Clause is commin' dahntahn!